Why is it that somedays I feel ridiculously old and wise beyond my years, yet other days I feel very immature and irresponsible? I try to be resonsible and "grown-up" every day, but a lot of times it escapes me. I think I've been taking on too much. I forget schedules, appointments and other stuff, and I'm tired all the time. Even at work, most of the time I don't feel like doing a damn thing, but I do cuz it's how I was raised - to be a responsible individual. I'm getting tired of being responsible. I'm tired of feeling like the only one who gives a damn, the only one who does anything. At least as far as work goes, I'm only responsible for me now, not a couple dozen other people. It's a huge relief. Now if only I could get my personal life together as well as my professional life is. This is the year it is going to happen. I can feel it. I also know I need to keep this positive thinking in order to find success. Everything will work out in the end if I learn to stay positive.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Wednesday Ramblings
Woke up late this morning. What? Did you expect something different? So I took C with me to my chiropractor appointment. She must have thought he was hurting me or was just cranky in general cuz she wouldn't stop fussing. I know her teeth are hurting her too. It must be hard being so little and having to deal with so much pain. I wish I could spend more time with my children and get to know them better.then maybe I could tell better what is bothering her.
So now I am home and started cleaning the house again. It's very discouraging not having a place to put everything. I can't wash anything today either..the pipe to the washer is broken, it won't fill with water. I was hoping Michael would have gotten someone to fix it by now. But then again, the window in the kitchen still needs replaced. I won't hold my breath. Maybe someone else will come take care of it for me.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
This is not a drive-by..
Well maybe it is just a little. I have nothing intersting to write about this morning. Train has been stuck in my head for several days. And I wouldn't mind being alone in a room with Pat Monahan (and Adam Levine of course). You would think that would be amazing but I'm so not outgoing or forward in any manner toward people I don't know. It would be incredibly awkward. Even so, at least I could say I was there.
#train #patmonahan #adamlevine #maroon5 <3
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Guidelines
Since i've already decided to put my life out there for the world to read about, I have to give myself some basic rules to abide by.
1. I promise to never complain about my job on here, for fear of getting Dooced. For all I know, the upper management finds me "interesting" and have been stalking me online for years.
2. I promise that if I talk about loved ones, especially my children, I will keep their identities known only by initials. Despite the differences I have with most of my family, I do still have respect for them and do not wish to offend or embarrass.
I admire those mothers who are fortunate enough to be able to afford to stay at home with their children. On one hand I am hoping that writing this blog will also allow me that luxury, or at the very least give me an outlet for my energy. While I want desperately to not have to work a traditional job to support my family, I more desperately want my family to want for nothing. My angels mean the world to me and I feel blessed to have the responsibility of making them into great human beings. If anyone has advice on how I can turn this writing hobby into a career, I would be appreciative. (Sn: Dooce and AnneMade are my role models..I really admire you guys)
New year, new bean.
so my world turned upside down again. this time it's a bit more drastic than usual so I'm starting my blog over. This is a new year,there is a new bean in town. And I am trying to be happy about it. The end of last year was incredibly stressful on me so I decided I need to make some changes. Work was ridiculous with the amount they were asking of me,and not offering much (if any) help,so first I gave up my position. At the time I felt it was either step down or get fired so I took the safe choice that at least allows me to provide for my family. Speaking of family, things have changed there as well. Right now I would rather not get into details, but M and I are taking a break. That's all I can say about that. Chase is still alive and well, despite trying to maul me more than once. And Mr. Lucas has returned to our happy household. Things are looking up,but I know I have a very long road ahead of me. Someday I hope to look back and appreciate the struggles that will get me ahead in life.